Buster Moon
by Spooky316
Summary: Sailor Moon? Sorry, I don't know any sailors. And what do you mean Tiara? Am I not supposed to have an unlicensed nuclear accelerator?
Based on a picture I found on deviantart by tr3forever

* * *

Far beneath the surface of the earth (or in an alternate dimension, take your pick) the Evil Queen Beryl sat on her throne. Her hands swirled around a crystal ball, casting some sort of arcane spell (or pretending to, either works).

"Jadeite, my General," she intoned, "Come to me."

A blond man in a bland gray uniform appeared out of thin air in front of her. "Yes, my Queen," he said while bowing.

"As you know," Beryl said, still completely focused on her ritual, "We need energy in order to wake our Great Ruler. I'm giving this task to you. What are your plans?" she asked, as if she hadn't just sprung this on him this very moment.

However Jadeite was fully prepared. How? No one knows. "I'm glad you asked, my Queen. I've been observing the people for a while and determined that energy sucking jewelry is the best choice. I'll replace the owner of a small business with one of our evil spirits, then lower prices massively. That way everyone will buy the jewelry and we'll have all the energy we need!" he proclaimed.

The Evil Queen nodded. "Very well, I leave it to you."

Jadeite bowed again before performing a vanishing act.

XXX

Back on Earth, Usagi Tsukino (14 years old, born June 30, a Cancer, blood type O) was trying to sleep. However her pursuit of happiness was interrupted by a certain black cat.

"Hey," Usagi said while pointing at the cat, "You're that cat I saved earlier!"

"That's right," the cat nodded. "I wanted to thank you for getting rid of that bandage on my head-" she was cut off by a shout.

"Whaaat?! You can talk?!" Usagi scooted backwards in shock.

The cat sighed. "Yes, I can talk."

"Oh man, I'm hallucinating! I don't think I ate anything that weird before bed!" Usagi shouted.

"I'm not a hallucination-" the cat started.

"That's just what a hallucination would say," Usagi mumbled.

"ANYWAY," the cat continued as if uninterrupted. "My name is Luna, and I've come to give you a gift!"

Usagi immediately did a complete 180. "Ohhh really? What is it? Is it food? Maybe you're going to do all my homework for me?" she gushed.

Luna sweatdropped. "None of those things. I've come to make you a superhero! Bad things are happening out there, and you're the only one who can stop them!" she announced.

Usagi eyed the cat. "Is that it? Pass. Thanks but no thanks. You can find someone else. That's not the sort of thing for me."

"Just take this!" Luna did a backflip and a a strange looking brooch appeared in a flash of light. Usagi caught it reflexively and looked at it critically. It was round and featured the design of what could only be described as one of those anti cigarette ads, except instead of a cigarette inside the circle, it was a cartoony ghost.

"Now hold it up and shout 'Moon Ecto Power!'" Luna demanded.

Some sort of instinct took over her, and Usagi did what she was asked without question. In a flash of light (and an extended transformation sequence that seems like it takes forever, but really lasts only a split second) Usagi had transformed! Instead of her PJs she now wore a red jumpsuit, with a patch on the sleeve with the same logo as her brooch. On her back was a gunmetal blue mechanical pack of some kind, attached to a large wand by electronic tubing.

Usagi examined herself for a few seconds before slowly tipping backwards and falling down, waving her arms all the while. "Wahh! This is heavy!"

"Suck it up!" Luna ordered. "You're now Buster Moon, guardian against the supernatural! Now come on, before I came here I detected a large amount of psycho kinetic energy at a local jewelry store!"

"Jewelry store...? Oh no, Naru!" Usa, er, Buster Moon jumped to her feet, ignoring any and all weight on her back, and leapt out the open window.

XXX

At Jewelry Store Osa-P, Usagi's friend Naru was in the process of having her energy absorbed by Morga, the evil spirit impersonating her mother. Just in the nick of time however, Buster Moon entered the scene.

"Stop right there, criminal scum! Using a girl's love of jewelry to take advantage of her and steal her life energy is unforgivable! I'm Buster Moon, and in the name of the moon, I'll punish you!" the heroine heroically posed.

Morga twisted her head a complete 180 degrees to look at the interloper. "An intruder! Go my minions!" she shouted as all the life-drained bodies around the area slowly stood up and shambled towards Buster Moon.

"You've got to incapacitate them!" Luna yelled from the door.

"How?!" Buster Moon replied, clumsily dodging the strikes until she was outside the store. Luckily, each of her dodges caused the zombified bodies to hit one another, knocking themselves out. The last two came at her from opposite sides, and she looked back and forth between them before falling forwards. They took each other out as she picked herself off the ground.

"If you want something done, you've got to do it yourself," Morga growled under her breath as she turned to the heroine.

"Hurry Buster Moon!" Luna called. "Use your Proton Pack!"

"Right!" Buster Moon nodded as she reached behind her and grabbed the wand. She pointed it at the charging monster and fired. A beam of glowing energy lanced from the wand and struck Morga, stopping the spirit in her tracks. Ribbons of energy surrounded Morga's body, holding her in place.

"Great job, Buster Moon!" Luna encouraged. "Now you've got to use the trap!"

"How? I've only got two hands?" Buster Moon cried.

A second beam of energy came flashing down from a rooftop to join hers. Buster Moon looked up for the source and hearts appeared in her eyes.

The man was inexplicably wearing a tuxedo and top hat, with a slightly different dark black version of the Proton Pack on his back. He also had on a set of high tech goggles obscuring his eyes from view.

"I've got it, Buster Moon! Finish it off!" he shouted.

Buster Moon nodded. "Right!" She holstered her wand and pulled the trap from the other side of her pack. She slid it forward until it reached the monster and dropped the activator to the ground.

"Remember, don't look directly at the trap!" Luna advised.

"Got it," Buster Moon said as she stomped down. The trap opened underneath Morga, and in a rush of light and ghostly wail the spirit was sucked inside. The trap closed itself and beeped as a light flashed on the side, signifying a job well done.

"I did it!" Buster Moon cheered as she thrust a hand into the air.

"Well done!" The man called from the rooftop. "You've proven yourself a true hero today!" He turned to leave, flourishing his cape.

"Wait, who are you?" Buster Moon asked.

He turned his head back. "Call me Tuxedo Goggles. I'm sure we'll meet again!" he said as he leapt off into the night.

Hearts floated around Buster Moon's head as Luna approached her. "Wasn't he dreamy?" the heroine said wistfully.


End file.
